An exceptionally brief look into Aion

It is a fantasy game. There are three factions, all of which are glowing and colorful. There are four main classes: Warrior, Priest, Scout, Mage. There is lore in the form of two “books”, the combined length of which barely exceeds "pamphlet". Reading the lore is like eating cotton candy. The lore’s rhetorical strategy is that of a drunken man relating a harrowing, ages-long tale of interrupted masturbation. Unfortunately there is some conflation, and the cotton candy often tastes like masturbation. Fighting and taking over stuff is important. You can fight random monsters and other players at the same time, which seems cool right up until the monsters go after you for some retarded reason, and then the players chase your sorry ass right into a wall.

The graphics are nice and shiny, which is very important. Things that should look very large and very far away are, in fact, very large and very far away, which is a plus. Boobs and chiseled jaws are rendered convincingly. There are curiously-designed animals to slaughter. Wings are also available, “though only a scant few attain that dream”, which means everyone gets them and they’re vitally important for reasons that the advertising would be happy to fill you in on over and over and over and over, and maybe even with emphasis. There are things to get and plateaus to reach and people to do it with, so the game will be addictive as all hell, and possibly fun. People are already playing it in Korea, and at the least are completely enslaved to it.